Behold I Am With You Always

by Anita Mondragon

I wrote the following last week when things were pretty rough around here…but now, five days later, I am almost ashamed to blog this, for God has come through, yet again.  How could I ever doubt that He would?  I don’t know…because He ALWAYS comes through!  But, I need to be honest, and this is what I felt one-day last week.  Maybe some of you can identify with me:

For the last two days now, a small dove has decided to take her leisure on my patio.  We all know how birds are…skiddish!  When they hear the slightest noise, they take wing and are gone, sometimes too frightened to ever return.

This dove is different.  The first day she was here, I didn’t see her, for she was sitting under the patio table.  The dog needed to go out, so I opened the door, and we both headed outside.  I immediately sat down on the swing but the dog spied the dove under the table.  I was sitting behind her, and the dog walked right up to her; but she just sat there as they looked each other in the eye.  Strange!  He didn’t bark, or try to chase her….  Then she slowly got to her feet, and flew away.  Later in the evening, she was back again.

This morning, my husband went out to water the yard and flowers.  The dog and I went with him.  There she was again!  She stayed there, even with all the commotion, until we finished watering.  Then, she flew away.

My husband soon left for work.  I was in the kitchen and saw her again.  This time, she had sat herself down on the swing in the same spot where I had sat.  The wind was moving the swing back and forth in a rhythmic motion.  First, she was standing, then she sat down and closed her eyes.  It was beautiful to behold!  Peaceful!

I tell you all that, to say this:  Things around here have been pretty hectic.  Short paycheck, cars needing to go into the garage for servicing due to unexpected problems, everyday needed items being summarily depleted from food to laundry soap…and payday in the distance, already spoken for.  Anxiety, insomnia, worry…I could go on, but no need…you get the picture!  I even thought about the widow and her son in the Bible as I cracked the last egg for my son and me to eat this morning…although we are FAR from starving!  We, in this country, are used to having excess.  God wants me to KNOW HE will give me my daily bread!

My point is this, it takes a lot for me to get discouraged, but in these last few days, with everything that has come up, I find I’ve almost reached my breaking point.  While alone, I’ve cried out loud to God and told Him, “I just don’t get it!  Everything I do, I do for YOU, Lord!  So…’WHY’ are we going through all of this?  WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME???  WHERE are you?”

Now, in my spirit, I KNOW He’s still here.  He hasn’t gone anywhere.  But, I can’t SEE Him; or even see Him at work in the situation.

So…He sent me this dove, which represents the Holy Spirit in Scripture.  He KNEW I needed to SEE something to remind me of His presence and be comforted!

All I can say is “Thank You Lord!”  David was right when he said, “O my God, I trust in you…Indeed, let no one who waits on you be ashamed.”  Psalms 25:2-3

Oh…and by the way, the dove is back, sitting under the swing, looking at me through the sliding glass door as I write this!  …I think I saw her wink!