As a parent, I find myself in this quandary all the time!  However, I don’t believe this situation is limited only to parenting.  

I’m retired for many years now, and looking back I have recalled my superiors, bosses, and   leaders from all the positions I’ve held. I found that those most successful in their authoritative state, were the ones that lead through inspiration.

They encouraged, energized, persuaded, motivated, and stirred-up those they were over.  They welcomed new ideas.

Then there was the other side of the coin.  The dictator types had little to no success.  They had no interest in hearing about new ideas-in fact, this type of thinking was vehemently discouraged.  No one was allowed to question, or interject a new train of thought. Moral in the ranks was almost nil! People were unhappy at their jobs and production came to an all- time low.

This holds true with parenting as well!  

As a leader or a parent do you have high expectations of those under you/your children?  Do you expect them to cater to your needs while theirs go unmet? When you make plans, do theirs go unheard?  Are you a “Do it MY WAY…or HIT THE HIGHWAY!” kind of leader/parent?

Do you always notice the mistakes and short-comings of others, yet are completely oblivious to your own?  

When cooperation does not take place, are you unhappy…miserable?  

If you are one of these domineering leaders/parents, you can bet those under you are unhappy as well!

If after self-examination, you find that this describes you…maybe it’s time to make a change.  You can find happiness in serving others instead of serving yourself. Praise others. Be happy to allow them their time in the spot light.  Step back. Listen to their ideas…you may learn something, for none of us have ALL the answers! 

Take the following test.  Answer them honestly! If you find you have three or more answers on the negative side that describes you…MAKE A CHANGE!  Those under you will be grateful and so will you. Cooperation will rise, smiles will be evident and productivity will prevail!

Answer the following with honesty:

Positive                                                                         Negative

.Do you inspire those around you?          OR           .Do folks lose interest in what you have to “teach” them?

.Do you encourage those around you?   OR          .Do folks seem discouraged while in your presence?

.Do you energize those around you?       OR          . Do folks seem drained and anxious to leave your presence?

.Are you persuasive in your expectations?  OR .Are folks discouraged by your outrageous expectations?

.Do you motivate people to do better?        OR    .Do you hinder their abilities?

.Do you stir people to succeed?                      OR   .Do you provoke folks to anger.

.Do they see your vision and want

be a part of it?                                                   OR   . Do they just want to quit?     

REMEMBER…ONLY YOU AS A LEADER/PARENT HAVE THE ABILITY TO INSPIRE, ENCOURAGE, ENERGIZE, PERSUADE, MOTIVATE AND STIR UP THOSE YOU ARE OVER.  TIME TO CHANGE OUR WAYS!

Anita Mondragon