Lord Help My Unbelief

by Anita Mondragon
“…Jesus said unto him, if you can believe, ALL things are possible to him that believes.  And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, LORD, I BELIEVE; HELP MY UNBELIEF.”  Mark 9:23-24
This morning, I woke up praying, asking God to show me what He wants from me…and asking Him to reassure me of His care and provision.  He reminded me of a poem I wrote back in 2008.  I share it now with you. Within Your Holy Book, I read

Accounts of miracles, and deeds

Wrought by Your hands…

And I believe!

It seems my mind’s able to grasp,

The things you did in days long past,

And even things done in

This present day.

When friends, distraught, come to me

And ask me if I’ll pray…

I believe!

I know You turned the water into wine,

And parted the Red Sea,

You made the lame to walk again,

And caused the blind to see…

I DO believe!

The deaf could hear,

The mute, could speak

When You stretched out Your hand,

And Pharoah let your people go,

Because of plagues brought to his land…

This, I believe!

I pray for those upon death beds,

Who’s diagnosis looks quite grim…

Because I remember Lazarus,

And what you did for him!

Yes!  I believe!

I see the addicts on the street,

I feel their misery and despair;

But I’ve seen countless cured before…

Just because You care…

So…I believe!

Some held in bondage by demon powers,

Locked away, who sit for hours,

And scream in torment…

And beg for relief,

Have called on You, Jesus…

And been set free!

I DO believe!

But when things get more personal,

And it comes down to me…

I fret and worry…and have my doubts;

I wonder…do You see?’

See…I trust You with my eternity…

But, umm…just not my money;

Because, You’re up there…and I’m down here,

And, well You know…the market’s been kinda funny!

The stocks are up…and then, they’re down;

They change from day-to-day.

So, you know that 10% I was gonna give You? …

Well, I’m thinkin’ it’s gonna have to wait!

After all, You know the rent’s coming up,

And my car payment’s long past due…

They’re about to turn my water off…

And I’m out of groceries too;

And that old car You gave me to drive…

It sucks up gas, like there ain’t no tomorrow…

So the troubles of this present time,

Make me forget Your miracles,

And in self-pity, wallow!

But, then You gently turn my mind

To things in my own past,

And remind me how You intervened,

And acted on my behalf;

Like that bag of change I found in the car for gas…

And all those grocery coupons…

How we lived off Hot Dogs, Mac & Cheese,

Tuna Fish, and Peanut Butter…

Instead of Chicken, Pork Chops, Steak, and Prawns.

But, we never did go hungry,

Our bellies were always fed.

We never slept in doorways,

We slept in our warm beds!

You cared for us from day-to-day…

You gave us Daily Bread.

You kept us from all harm and evil…

You did just what You said!

So…again, with contrite heart,

I vow to give my 10%;

And though things don’t add up on paper,

I know You’ll provide for the rent.

The next time things get bad

And I begin to worry…

When things get out of hand,

And look all skewed, and blurry…

When I want to hold onto my tithe,

Remind me of Your miracles Lord…

And let me write the check;

As I drop it in the offering basket,

With my nerves a total wreck…

I’ll cry, “Oh God!  Please help me!

I don’t want to be a thief!

Let me trust in You…for I DO believe…

But, help my unbelief!!”

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